i live in a tiny apartment i worked so hard to furnish and finish. now i'm broke and realizing it really wasn't that important and i hate living by myself.

i want to move when i graduate. i'm thinking denver, but i dunno if i'm brave enough.

i'm student teaching next semester. crazy.

i've counted 5 engagements in the past month or less, 3 in the past 2 days. no, i forgot about another one so make that 6. no, i just forgot about another one, make that 7. all i can say is that i'm glad it's not me. and that if any guy ever tries to propose to me on a holiday and/ or at opryland hotel, it doesn't matter- I will say "no."

when did church become such a judgmental place? when people only show up to compare you to people of past or to themselves. it disgusts me.

i crashed in one of the guest rooms of the people's house i babysat for last night and when i woke up this morning they asked what my plans were. i mumbled something about working out and going to church. then as i sat in my church listening to the sermon later that morning i realized the thought of inviting them to come with me sometime hadn't entered my head. then i realized i don't really know if i'd invite them to the church i was at this morning. (we had the morning off from pr) then i thought of the other church i also attend in the area and wasn't sure i'd feel comfortable knowing that if i invited them there, like the first church, people would welcome them and make them feel at home. how sad is that. if i don't want to invite people where i'm going, then why the heck am i going there?

we all have personal opinions into the actions of others. sometimes i wish i had my own personal Mel Gibson what women want moment for all people. if what i'm thinking about another person is true. what's really going on in their mind. if it were a test, i'm sure i'd fail miserably.

i wish the words to this song were different. something i could relate to a bit more, because i love the instrumentation and melody of this song. although the word crash could stay. that a good use of onamonapeia (sound it out, i'm too lazy to look up how to spell it.)

i hate hanging up clothes.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
when there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life.

-St. Francis